Self-restraint is basically an ability to suppress desires, impulses and inclinations. At my tender age of 24 I have heard from several wise people that it is an essential part of maturity, and something that you learn as you progress through the years.
Though somewhat similar to dehumanizing yourself (after all, why deny the very thing that makes us human?), self-restraint has its good points, like being able to execute diplomacy, fairness and empathy, so as to avoid causing distress for yourself and other human beings as well.
Today I thought about self-restraint a great deal, mainly because of the following reasons:
- Laziness. I almost gave in to my impulse to skip work again, when my alarm went off and I was feeling a tad too lethargic to drag myself out of bed. And so I decided to skip work. I pondered on this irresponsible and childish act of mine for a good thirty minutes, until I finally decided to get in the shower and drive myself to the office.
Lesson: Look at the bright side. Instead of thinking about unprofessional office mates, unethical bosses and doing all sorts of crap that you don’t really feel like doing, you can choose to think about getting paid for that day you decided to show up at work, busying yourself instead of letting the monsters in your head mess you up and giving your brain some exercise.
- Insecurity. I was talking to somebody close to me about very sensitive things that involved myself, a person who has issues, just like everyone else out there. Instead of resorting to sarcasm, rage or contempt as a defense mechanism for my insecurities, I took a deep breath and thought, this, too, shall pass.
Lesson: Taking a deep breath and talking slow helps. Do not attack people for their opinions. Do not raise your voice, as it only aggravates you and the person that you are talking to further. Sarcasm and anger is not healthy. If you feel angry, take time to clear your mind. Always aim to understand. Stand on both sides of the argument, not just yours.
- Ego. I dwelt on my frustration towards the lack of professionalism or anything systematic at the company where I work. I blamed it on my peers’ lack of exposure to best corporate practices, their general lack of knowing, and my bosses’ alleged tendency to view their employees as similar to workers in a sweat shop. Instead of acting all sassy and condescending, I bit my tongue and got back to work.
Lesson: When part of a team or organization, keep in mind that it’s not always about you. If thoughts about your peers’ incompetence drives you nuts, take the role of mentor and help one another grow as a team. And should your company’s ethics totally go against your own principles, there’s always free resignation letter templates online that you can use.
I’m quite proud of what I have accomplished today, even in these very little and almost insignificant steps. It made me feel better just knowing that I did not trample over anybody’s morale or question their self-worth, whether knowingly or unknowingly.
In everything, there is always a choice, even in the things that you think about and dwell upon. A healthy mind is a powerful mind! And a positive aura keeps everybody happy, including yourself. Goodnight!
